Trust me, I did try!

I tried.
I did try.
Honestly, I tried.
Trust me, I did try!

They asked me to stand.
I tried. I failed.
I kept trying and kept falling.
Until I found my feet!

They asked me to walk.
I tried. I failed.
I kept trying and kept limping.
Until I walked away from me!

They asked me to run.
I tried. I failed.
I kept trying and kept stumbling.
Until I ran aimlessly!

They asked me to learn.
I tried. I failed.
I kept trying and kept failing.
Until I learnt slavery!

They asked me to sell.
I tried. I failed.
I kept trying and kept giving.
Until I sold my soul!

They asked me to inhibit.
I tried. I failed.
I kept trying and kept bursting.
Until I crunched my heart!

They asked me to pick weapons.
I tried. I failed.
I kept trying and kept dropping.
Until I held my life!

They asked me to fight.
I tried. I failed.
I kept trying and kept losing.
Until I lost myself!

Then they called me names.
Monster! Loser! Weak! Coward! Failure!
But honestly, I tried.
Trust me, I did try!

Then they moved on.
I tried. I failed.
I kept trying and kept stagnating.
Until I moved out!

Then I. Yes, I.
I actually tried. I did try.
Honestly, I tried myself.
Trust me, I did try!

I tried to observe them.
I tried to understand them.
I tried. I did try.
Until I understood me!

I tried to stand among them.
I tried to walk with them.
I tried to run with them.
Until I tried to be them!

I tried to accept them.
I accepted!
I tried to forgive them.
I forgave!

I tried all the names on me.
Good, bad and the ugly ones too.
I tried to be in illusions.
Until I became delusional!

I tried the three names, they ask to be.
Lover, happy and peaceful!
Awe, the illusions of these three.
They try to confine me in delusions.

I tried them all, I see.
There is none out here!
I tried many lives, a beautiful delusion!
All delusions and illusions fade in the end.

I see, a name I did not try yet – dead!
Is it time to try this name?
Oh, will it be an illusion?
Honestly, I should try!